100 Days of Wonder – #23
So today’s post nearly didn’t happen because I have been so busy with work stuff and with dealing with getting rid of useless Estate Agents and finding not useless Estate Agents to sell the Birmingham flat and the emotional stuff that comes with selling the flat and with being too busy at work and with feeling like I am not doing anything well. I am not doing my best work in any area of the job, I am not on top of life admin, my marathon training has gone to hell, sleep is disrupted and I suspect I’m pretty vile to be around at the moment. It’ll pass. In the scheme of things everything is fine but right now it feels like the picture, pretty as it is, is happening in my head – lots going on at once with colours, shapes and noise and right now, I’d much rather it just be quiet. Even for a Disney addict like me, sometimes it overloads the senses so maybe my next post can be about the Disney places that I go to when that overwhelm hits. For now though, it’s time to do at least a bit of strength work and stretching before bed.
100 Days of Wonder – #18
It’s about time we had a me and Piglet picture. Did you know I am a scaredy-cat? I will worry about lots of things and I get anxious about silly things and in this big and crazy world I often feel small and insignificant and powerless. I’m scared of making wrong decisions at work and in life, sometimes I am so terrified of running down a steep hill that I stop at the top and cry. Some of it is rational and some if it isn’t. I’m not brave, or rather I have a limited amount of brave to go round and given that most things scare me in some way, I have limited capacity to do the things that push me out of my comfort zone. Like Piglet says, it can be hard to be brave when you are a very small animal. So many quotes about love and friendship and life in general are given to Pooh Bear but I like Piglet more. Piglet is kind and shy and braver than he knows and he does the right thing even when he’s scared. He doesn’t make rash decisions and he listens. We need to be more like Piglet. Piglet also embodies a contradiction I feel a lot of affinity with because Piglet is brave and so often out of his comfort zone. I get that. I like change, I am not risk averse, I like adventures and I do things that scare me all the time. I get irritated with myself if I spend too much time in my comfort zone (which is really just the under a blanket on my sofa with a cat or 4, a good book or film and ridiculous amounts of cheese) so I chase the impossible, I run down the hills, I give papers at conferences, I travel, I swim in the ocean, I go somewhere people-y, I hike up the hills and climb the bridges, I teach rooms full of students and even go on a rollercoaster in the dark that goes upside down (more on that another time maybe – because – aaaaaaargh). The point is, while I often feel like I am running out of brave and have to fight the urge to retreat and hide, we are always so so so much braver than we think and what the world needs right now is bravery in speaking out, in not looking away, in taking action, in speaking truth to power.
Society of Legal Scholars Day 2
As I outlined briefly yesterday, Day 2 started with me not running and having a slow morning gathering my thoughts and enjoying not plunging straight into my emails and not dealing with the day to day. I walked up to the uni in a gap in the showers and found the room in which my PhD student was presenting. The audience was almost non existent when I got there although a few more people arrived. There were three papers in the session and I struggled to focus on them. The first was probably interesting but was almost entirely read out which meant I lost interest within about a minute. The second was better but not something I knew anything about. The third paper was of course fabulous. It s a different sort of nervousness watching your students or mentees give papers. I really wanted the experience to be a positive one. I’m certainly biased but I thought her presentation was by far the best of the three and I was very proud of her.
Then I went back to Legal Education having missed a couple of papers I had marked – by people I know though so I can catch up with them later. This session was a bit problematic for me. The first paper was interesting and had lots of good stuff in about personalisation of teaching and feedback and also about student expectations etc but I have concerns about the approach, heavily reliant on Myers-Briggs personality type teasing but without being trained in Myers Briggs. It did make me think about how we can talk to students about where they are in their journey, their skills and knowledge to understand more what they need from us. And of course that’s different for each student. The second paper shouldn’t have been there and was just a bit of a car crash.
That made me think too though… what’s the responsibility of conveyors in ensuring the appropriateness of papers? Can they be checked more without filtering out non obvious gems? What’s the role of Chairs in putting both speaker and audience out of their misery? And how do you manage that sensitively because you never know what’s going on for the speakers in the background! Anyway, then we had lunch and then I found a quiet spot to catch up with some other stuff before the plenary session. As I sat there it suddenly felt unbearably noisy, and in spite of hiding away in a corner there were people everywhere… before I really thought about it I packed my stuff up and left. I checked my heart rate (whoa!) and breathing as I walked down towards the hotel. I thought about what to do. I had time to walk a little and then go back to the plenary but in the end I decided I needed time out.
I had a little rest, maybe even dozed off for ten minutes or so. Then I got my running gear on to head out. It wasn’t entirely successful as my legs are so tight. My ankles started niggling almost immediately but I managed a mile, then I stopped and stretched and then did another mile run/walk, stopped to stretch again and then mostly walked another mile with a few jogs thrown in. It helped. I felt well enough to go to Dinner. Dinner was just dinner with a quiz I had no interest in, a pretty good speech and good conversation on my table. By the end I was really tired but otherwise ok.
I slept well. I woke up just before 6 and lazily snuggled back into bed for a little while before deciding to go out and run. As I walked around the room though my Achilles niggled and my calves felt tight so I instead I did some yoga, had breakfast, did some more yoga and then slowly walked up to the uni ready to start the Day 3 with the AGM.
My Conversations 