99 Days of Something #6 – Academic Travel to think better
I haven’t been in a writing mood today. I haven’t updated my running blog (I haven’t run but I have cycled) and I haven’t written anything else either. I had basically given up getting anything down today. Some days are just not for writing it seems. Although I always feel better when I do write. But then I was scrolling through social media and saw posts from people I know heading to or having fun in San Francisco for one of the big Law conferences. I don’t want to write about conferences as such but it did make me think about all the places work has taken me that I might never have gone to otherwise. Don’t get me wrong, when I look back, a tiny fraction of conference trips were funded by work, most of them I paid for myself and even the ones where I did get funding, that mostly only covered part of the cost – so this isn’t about seeing the world and having fun on public money, in fact academics are the only group of people I know who routinely pay out of pocket to do parts of their job. And actually conferences are really hard work! Anyway, maybe more about actual conferencing another day.
I have been to some pretty amazing places to conferences, for fieldwork and for fellowships etc over the last 20 years. I got to spend time in Hamburg early on in my career which meant I got to spend lots of time with my Dad (because I stayed with him throughout the fellowship) and my Oma who loved me coming round for breakfast several times a week. I also got to see bits of Bulgaria and Poland as well as cities in Germany I had never been to during fieldwork. I have been to conferences and events in Warsaw, Salzburg, Oslo, Freiburg, Berlin, Brussels, Lund, Paris, Barcelona, Toronto, Montreal, Philadelphia, Washington DC, Mexico City, Brisbane and those are just the ones I can remember off the top of my head. In many of these locations, particularly those outside Europe, I have always tried to add a holiday to make it worth going that far. But even when I have only done the conference, I have always made time to see at least a little bit of the place. It’s a perk of the job in some ways because sometimes conferences give access to places you don’t otherwise get. For smaller events that might just be seeing the inside of the university hosting the event – but I love that. I love getting a sense of universities in other countries, the way they feel, what they show to the public and what you can glean from being behind the scenes a little, wandering corridors, reading noticeboards (where notice boards still exist) or looking at what pictures (if any) they choose to hang on their walls. Bigger events sometimes get you access to things historic buildings for drinks receptions or dinner, or special tours like the Supreme Court in Washington DC. It can also give you a very warped sense of a place though if you just stay in your conference bubble. There were a whole load of people who missed out on amazing street food in Mexico City because they never really ventured out from the conference hotel or recommended restaurants.
The overseas trips are of course often the ones that stick in your mind. The Brisbane conference was epic partly because it fell right in the middle of a 4 week Australia adventure that we designed around the conference. I had won a best paper prize which meant that the conference fee was waived and I received some money towards travel which basically paid for my flight. Anyway, most of my conferences and events have actually been UK based. I disproportionate number of them in London but UK travel has also seen my visit Edinburgh, Glasgow, Stirling, Cardiff, Swansea, Newcastle, York, Liverpool, Manchester, Nottingham, Leicester, Birmingham, Worcester, Stratford, Reading, Bath, Norwich, Brighton, and probably lots more I can’t think of now. I don’t tend to stay longer for UK events but I do often still try and see a bit of the place – that might be with a little tourist run or a walk. In some ways it is a great way to see little bits of a place which then means you can decide if you want to go back and actually spend some time there. I have a soft spot for Leicester because I was a student there. I’d never go there as a tourist but I will always jump at an opportunity to visit for work. Same for Birmingham. I would like to spend more time in Bath – good incentive to get on with the DBA, maybe a summer graduation with a day or two either side would be a nice way to spend a few days.
Anyway, what’s the point of writing this. Well, partly it just popped into my head that I have been to a lot of interesting places because of work and partly because it is a really good reminder that it’s not all about spreadsheets. Occasionally it can and must also be about exchanging interesting, exciting and complex and challenging ideas with other people who are interested in similar things, who can share their perspective and challenge your own. It’s about being asked and asking questions that make you re-think, tweak or abandon arguments, it’s about pushing each other to think differently and articulate more clearly. Not every conference achieves that but those that do go some way to rewiring the brain and changing the world for the better. For me that level of thinking, challenge, re-thinking and that level of clarity and focus is something I can rarely achieve when at home and doing the day job. It is something I know I struggle to achieve when attending events online. There is something about being in a physical space away from home and sharing that space with others and giving in to the intensity of the conversations and just rolling with it all in spite of imposter syndrome, in spite of sometimes not really understanding and in spite of always being completely over-peopled that makes my brain fire up. It’s where the magic happens. It’s where I am pushed to think better.
I hope all colleagues in San Francisco have an amazing time and come home buzzing with ideas and I wish the same to everyone else out there who has conferences or events coming up to challenge you to be better. Let’s accept that challenge and see where it takes us.
99 Days of Something #5 – Still resting
I have written something today – a running blog post. That’s something. I was toying with the idea of turning on the work computer and getting myself organised a bit, catch up with some stuff and maybe stop feeling like I am just falling further behind with every day. And then I remembered that I don’t do that anymore because that’s a slippery slope. Work can be organised, sorted and prioritised in work time. I did have a little burst earlier of checking recent case law of the Court of Justice of the EU for two different pieces of writing and making a note of the ones I need to look at in more detail.
It’s been a good day of balance – I had coffee in the garden, we went to Bolton Abbey and Kath went for a run and I went for a run/walk. We went to a farm shop, then home and had lunch with Kath’s mum. Then we had blackberry and apply pie we bought from the farm shot and watched TV trying to stay out of the heat. I had a short nap and then got on the Zwift bike and turned myself into a human puddle. We had scrambled eggs with spinach on amazing sourdough and beetroot bread (from the farm shop) for tea and watched the pilot episode of ER. I am about to have a bath and then maybe read.
I took this picture today. The smell of wild garlic was still strong, the sunlight made interesting patterns through the trees, it was hot but the woodland provided enough shade for it to not be too uncomfortable. I don’t remember thinking about much at all on my loop but reflecting on the day now, I feel like my brain is clearer than it has been. These last few days have done me good I think. I am not saying that I remember how to really rest, but I think it has been a good start to re-learning.
99 Days of Something – #4: More About Rest
Ah well, yes – I didn’t get very far with the 99 Days of Something series did I. But I do miss the discipline of writing daily and I do need a kick up the backside to get some writing bits finished and writing helps with balance and rest. So the aim is to write something every day and record it here. Sometimes that might be writing for work, sometimes that might be some creative writing and sometimes it might just be the blog. But write I will. When I did the 100 Days of Wonder series, I structured the post around photos and that seemed to work really well – so maybe I start there to see how it goes.
I took this picture of Storm this morning. I like it for all sorts of reasons – the blue sky, her looking into the distance seemingly ignoring me completely, the tree in the background. I also like it because it was a very brief moment in the middle of chaos – she was being a parkour cat round the garden and paused to catch her breath before bouncing out of the greenhouse guttering onto the glass roof that covers our patio and then running across the other side of the greenhouse and jumping from there to the summer house roof and disappearing across the fence at the back of our garden. And then she appeared again doing some sort of variation of that loop. Now she’s fast asleep.
That, and scrolling through the blog and seeing some of the 100 Days of Wonder posts and realising that I feel more rested after this weekend than I did when I had a whole week off, made me reflect on my last post and on rest. Storm is good at resting. Like most cats really. She goes bonkers, she eats well, she plays, she takes care of herself and then she sleeps. When she was running around the garden and bouncing off buildings she seemed so joyful. She was just having fun. And she was just doing her thing. The other cats stayed out of her way, watching her with a mix of fear, admiration and disdain. She doesn’t care.
So as I sat in the sun, tidying up one of our little alpine tubs and watching a tiny little bee on a heuchera flower, I thought about what was different this weekend. I had assumed I would be more tired. I didn’t sleep well all week. Stress levels were high, emotional energy was drained and I was frustrated about my calf still being niggly. I almost expected to feel worse. But I didn’t. So what’s different. Well I suspect the weather helps. It’s warm and sunny and has been all weekend. Sunlight helps. The second things is that I have actually done some stuff that feels productive in a none work way. I deep cleaned the kitchen on Saturday. While somehow cleaning the kitchen always feels future because it almost immediately needs it again, the deep clean was well overdue and it does look and feel much better now. On Sunday we went out for breakfast and had a walk round Harlow Carr gardens and bought some plants. We also did a fair bit of life admin organising ourselves a bit and that felt good. I did yoga and moved a little testing out the calf and just doing what feels good. I have drunk lots more water. I always have been terrible at drinking enough but over the last few days I have really tried and I do actually feel better. I went to the gym this morning, I pottered in the garden a bit and I have made plans for an outrageous LEGO purchase that will be silly fun. I have paused and noticed things, the variety of bees, the colours outside, the difference in temperature between the front and back garden… I have watched the cats play and lounge. I have done what Storm did in condensed form this morning – I moved, I had yummy food, I have played and been silly, I have looked after myself and I have slept better. This long weekend so far has been much more about balance, about doing and being in ways that support each other. No ‘all or nothing’ in sight. Less scrolling for no reason, more deliberate breathing and noticing.
I had coffee in the shady bit of our garden when I had finished the alpine tubs and realised how much I have got out of the habit of doing nothing at all. Just sitting and sipping my coffee almost felt alien. I, like so many of us, usually have my phone out when I am just sitting. That’s not doing nothing. That doesn’t let the brain drift and do its thing. Sitting watching, sipping, listening, breathing for 10 minutes was so much more restful than any amount of time scrolling could ever be. And I’m not saying there isn’t a place for scrolling, sometimes I find it helpful to stop myself fixating on one thing or to switch tasks but the trick is not to get stuck scrolling. It takes effort.
So what is actually different? Maybe it is really simple, I feel more present, more connected to myself (I don’t quite know what I mean either but that’s the closes I can come with words) and more open to seeing the joy and wonder in the every day and that leads me to a better balance and better prioritisation between all the things that make up this rollercoaster we call life. Let’s see how I manage balance when I also have to work. Achieving it during a long weekend seems a little like cheating but I have to start somewhere!
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