100 Days of Wonder – #52
Here’s the Bear of Little Brain. This was taken at Epcot in January 2023 as he was doing his morning exercises. We stood and watched him for ages and got the giggles watching him trying to reach his toes. My anxiety has been sky high today and I have felt very ‘little brained’. I probably could have done with channeling Winnie a little more. Or just the feeling of standing and watching him. In fact I don’t think any of us really take enough time to just stand and stare or watch or just be. It’s all about productivity and that just ends up being counter productive because my work world should be about creativity and thinking and empowerment and inspiring others and none of that works well if my tank is empty. Winnie started his day with some exercise and some waving at crowds and some being silly and just the memory of that starts resetting my system and bringing my heart rate and anxiety levels down. I finished my day today with a Boxercise class at the gym. It felt good – sometimes you just need to punch the crap out of something to release the excess adrenaline – and there were some giggles too over my lack of co-ordination. The fact that I nearly passed out at the end and had to sit on a chair off to one said that felt rather like the naughty chair, is also a reminder to look after myself better during the day. Maybe pause, have lunch, drink water, drink less coffee… I can’t imagine Winnie not having a little smackerel of something at regular intervals!
100 Days of Wonder – #40
What do you do to re-set? I am joining Piglet and the gang in the 100 Acre Wood. I know I should not be writing the story before all the characters are known or while we don’t know which of the unknowable number of worlds in the multiverse we will find ourselves in as things play out. But, as is perhaps normal for so many of us, I want to think through the infinite possibilities of everything that is going on so that I can be prepared. I was listening to the radio on my way back from campus today and there was a lot of speculation about the impact of the US election and I found myself wondering why that particular narrative and not a different one, why that ‘what if’ and not others. The same ‘what if’ narratives are playing out more locally in my world too and the different stories people tell themselves about what is happening can act as comfort blankets or as triggers for anxiety and stress. Over the last few days I have seen kindness and support where it really matters, I have seen bravery and people standing up for what’s right and I have seen many of us have each other’s back. I have seen other things too but I don’t want to engage with them right now. I want to believe in the good and I want to head off to the river where the gang was playing Poohsticks. I want to (if you’ll forgive the excursion to the more modern stories) play cricket with Eeyore. I want to be lectured by Owl, bounced by Tigger and I want to walk in the woods humming a silly tune with Piglet as we go check and see if Pooh has got thin enough to get unstuck from Rabbit’s house yet. This picture makes me believe I can do all that and as I have another random day off tomorrow, who is to say I can’t do exactly that. So if anyone is looking for me, I’m off to have tea with Kanga and Roo. The reality of our world will just have to wait a bit.
100 Days of Wonder – #18
It’s about time we had a me and Piglet picture. Did you know I am a scaredy-cat? I will worry about lots of things and I get anxious about silly things and in this big and crazy world I often feel small and insignificant and powerless. I’m scared of making wrong decisions at work and in life, sometimes I am so terrified of running down a steep hill that I stop at the top and cry. Some of it is rational and some if it isn’t. I’m not brave, or rather I have a limited amount of brave to go round and given that most things scare me in some way, I have limited capacity to do the things that push me out of my comfort zone. Like Piglet says, it can be hard to be brave when you are a very small animal. So many quotes about love and friendship and life in general are given to Pooh Bear but I like Piglet more. Piglet is kind and shy and braver than he knows and he does the right thing even when he’s scared. He doesn’t make rash decisions and he listens. We need to be more like Piglet. Piglet also embodies a contradiction I feel a lot of affinity with because Piglet is brave and so often out of his comfort zone. I get that. I like change, I am not risk averse, I like adventures and I do things that scare me all the time. I get irritated with myself if I spend too much time in my comfort zone (which is really just the under a blanket on my sofa with a cat or 4, a good book or film and ridiculous amounts of cheese) so I chase the impossible, I run down the hills, I give papers at conferences, I travel, I swim in the ocean, I go somewhere people-y, I hike up the hills and climb the bridges, I teach rooms full of students and even go on a rollercoaster in the dark that goes upside down (more on that another time maybe – because – aaaaaaargh). The point is, while I often feel like I am running out of brave and have to fight the urge to retreat and hide, we are always so so so much braver than we think and what the world needs right now is bravery in speaking out, in not looking away, in taking action, in speaking truth to power.
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