100 Days of Wonder – #63
Here I was, at the expo having picked up race bibs in 2016. At this point in my running life I had run a couple of half marathons and I think the longest training run might have been about 20 miles but I don’t actually remember, it might have been less. I had never run a marathon and I had certainly never attempted anything as insane as the Dopey Challenge. In 2019 I was slightly better prepared and knew what was coming. This time I know what’s coming but I am not prepared at all. Imposter Syndrome is real. I am the slowest I have ever been, I haven’t been consistent and today’s run was a bit of a nightmare so I am also way behind on distance and volume. So right now I don’t feel like a runner. But the thing that Disney running taught me is that I belong out there just as much as anyone else, that I too can do the impossible and that if you can dream it, you can bloody well have a good go at it. Do I know whether I can do Dopey 2025 – nope. Evidence suggests I may well struggle to get round the marathon in the time allowed but assuming I get round the half marathon in one piece and nothing seriously hurts, I will try. I look at 2016 me with awe. She was naive in terms of distance running, sure, but she was also determined and she never gave up. It never occurred to her that she might not finish. Today me feels less mentally strong. I now have experience of not finishing races or even not starting. I now know that that is an option and part of me wishes I didn’t. I want to be able to go into the Dopey Challenge with complete awe and wonder and without the somewhat dubious benefit of experience. I want the magic of not knowing and experiencing it all for the first time. But I do know, so all I can do is the trust the training that I have done and will still do, know that it will see me safely through the half marathon. Then I will need to channel all the determination, stubbornness and pixie dust I can to see if I can stay ahead of the balloon ladies (a group of women who start last and maintain the minimum pace required). And if I can’t, well then I’ll get a bus ride to the finish. I suppose there are worse things in life.
100 Days of Wonder – #35
Weekends will pretty much be dominated by running from now until January. The Dopey Challenge is getting closer and every now and again I do think that maybe I have just lost the plot. I ran 10 miles last Sunday and tomorrow the plan is for 13. Today’s picture is from the 2016 Disney World Half Marathon. I blogged about the race here – excuse the typos, I was really tired and I never have gone back to edit. It is probably the first half marathon I actually really enjoyed. I thought that to try and ease some anxiety about tomorrow’s long run, it would be good to access that memory bank and think about the half marathon’s I’ve done and how actually it is probably my favourite race distance. As I was scrolling through pictures my mind turned to the absolute absurdity of it all. I came to Disney as an adult, I came to running (well any exercise really) as an adult and I hated running when I first started. Disney made running seem less like something proper grown-ups do and more like something you could have a go at just for fun. Somehow Disney and running are not inextricably linked for me. The training plans worked for me, having an outrageous goal like the first half marathon in 2013 and then the Dopey Challenge in 2016 worked for me. But really. It’s ridiculous isn’t it. I’m 45, I’m fat, my lungs have been hammered by Covid, I’m pre-menopausal and quite busy at work. None of that lends itself to doing things like the Dopey Challenge. Yeah sure, I’ll just train to run 48.6 miles over 4 days through the autumn and the dark short winter days while constantly overheating, having random sleep patterns, random anxiety, random aches and pains, covid lungs and while carrying a significant chunk of excess weight. Sure, why wouldn’t I. It’s outrageous and stupid and more than a little bit mad. So why do it? Well, because it’s impossible. And most of the time doing the impossible is kind of fun. Everything is impossible until you do it and it turns out that actually, I’m quite good at impossible. So, 13 miles tomorrow. Given how training has been going that feels impossible. So I’ll see you on the other side of it! Go grab your impossible and have fun.
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