100 Days of Wonder – #16
Following yesterday’s post on Fun, I thought it was worth tackling something I haven’t covered yet in this series. The photo is of me and Eyore. We have something in common. We both suffer from depression. Disney has been critical in helping me manage my depression. The escapism when actually there helps hugely to completely re-set my brain but it is more than that. The planning for a trip gives me focus and a way to immerse myself in the escapism in the run up to a trip. The photos I can scroll through (or flip through in the photo books we have created) allow me to reminisce and reflect and to create some of the Disney Bubble at home. Sometimes we have Disney Days where we watch a sunrise series on Disney Plus drinking coffee from our resort mugs, ‘go on’ a ride or two with the help of YouTube and re-create some of the food options we like from the parks. My depression is now pretty well managed and I am very aware of my triggers and the signs it’s coming. I can’t always stop it but I am better able to escape to Disney literally or metaphorically and re-set. Depression for me is about brain overload and not being able to process properly so embracing Disney films and TV series that require no brain power, escaping to the familiarity of Disney characters and enforcing rest (for the brain rather than physical rest) – and allowing the inner child time to play are my antidotes. Understanding that my love of Disney is not silly and childish (in the bad sense) or ridiculous but something that is an important way for me to look after my brain because it nurtures the creativity, story telling and imagination that lights up my soul has been a really important realisation in my depression journey and it, alongside running (more on that in another post), has made staying mentally well much much easier.
100 Days of Wonder – #15
Yesterday I talked about fun. When I was at university in Leicester I would frequently visit my then girlfriend who was doing a degree in PE teaching in Chichester. The way my timetable fell I could often stay for a chunk during the week. I’d take work with me and while she was out in lectures and then playing cricket or rugby, I would wade through contract law cases and work out why, as a 19 year old, I should care about Administrative Law. I distinctly remember declining to join a game of rounders and not even joining the spectators sitting in the sun sipping something pink and alcoholic. Instead I opted for a book. My girlfriend’s comment was: Well you’re no fun. It was a theme that came up repeatedly and at the time I remember being defensive about it. I was fun. Of course I was fun. But was I?
I don’t know. I think it took me a long time to work out ‘fun’. I was bookish and serious and independent and ‘grown up’ as a kid. I continue to be fiercely independent but those moments of silliness and laughing so much that you (nearly -hm) pee yourself that I had always treated as rare and very private moments are now moments I embrace and I’m proud of. I no longer take myself or anything particularly seriously. Fun for me has never been about parties, big groups, playing sports or pranking each other which is I think what Rachel was referring to when she put me in the ‘not fun’ box. Fun for me has been about stories, about shared moments that touch the soul, about seeing others light up and mostly about seeing the ridiculousness of most things in life. Sometimes teaching and researching in law doesn’t lend itself to being fun. I bump up against inequality at best and atrocities at worst all the time in my work, some student stories a re heartbreaking and law is, after all a serious business… but finding your brand of silliness and fun seems to me to be crucial to making sure we look after ourselves when we’re doing work that can be emotional and hard. So if you think I’m mad as a hatter and a bit juvenile – you’d be right, I just don’t think that’s a bad thing.
100 Days of Wonder – #14
Fun. Why do we so often think of work and fun as 2 different things that never really come together? I’ve had a really busy work week with my teaching, teaching cover, a workshop in Worcester, meetings, head of school stuff and general administration plus an Open Day today. Looking at my calendar and the lack of gaps suggests anything but fun. I’m tired, sure but I had soooo much fun this week. I taught something I didn’t think I knew anything about or understood and I loved learning it, I had a really great discussion about Constitutions with our LLM students, I had references to and pictures of the Disney Castle, the Avengers and Figment in my keynote on Wednesday. Many of my meetings gave me chance to check in with wonderful humans and hear about, plan and reflect on exciting things to come. When we get caught up in the busy-ness of life, it seems to me to be even more important to stop and consciously look for the joy and fun in what we’re doing. Pause a minute, stare out into your life in wonder and I hope something makes you smile!
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