100 Days of Wonder – #32
Every story needs a villain. Does it though? Couldn’t we write our stories without someone having to be the villain? Is it just easier to write yourself as the good guy if there is a bad guy to contrast with? I’ve been thinking about this because recently I have had lots of conversations about the the state of Higher Education in England and the impact it is having on academics. Inevitably conversations turn to toxic workplaces and the villains of our stories. And of course I like to think I am one of the good guys, I like to think that I have used the privilege and power I have as a force for good, to champion and lift others, to help change the world and make it just a little bit brighter. I also like to think that I, like the Disney heroes have fought my battles and come through. But I also know that I am the villain in the stories others might tell. A shift of perspective and suddenly I am all the things that have been said about me. I have been thinking about this since I first mentioned this in a post 10 days ago or so. The Hero/Villain dichotomy just doesn’t work. Our lives and who we are are far too complex for that but we like to simplify things and the thing is, if we can point to a villain in our story then we must be the hero. If there is a bad guy then we must be a good guy and if there is evil then we are the good that triumphs. But I’m not any of those things. I’m not a hero or a good guy and I am not some abstract good that defeats some abstract evil. I am, like all of us, deeply flawed and complex. I do think we struggle to write our stories without a villain because defining who we are is so much easier with reference to something else. The Scarlet Witch in Marvel says ‘I don’t need you to tell me who I am’ but actually we do need to other characters in our stories to be able to define who we are or are not. Binaries, dichotomies, black and white… it’s all easy and it’s a way of telling ourselves that we’re ok. I do still struggle to see how some of the people in my story are anything other than villains. I find it hard to see how to rewrite those stories in a way that doesn’t position me on one side and them on the other and then conceptualises one side as good and the other as evil. But that’s never going to be helpful because while it may be true that there were sides, the rest is less clear and depends on whether you ask them or me. And maybe my overly reflective nature doesn’t help here. I tend to look back and overthink and dwell on the past and that lends itself to rewriting our stories. But, as one of Disney/Marvel’s heroes and villains said ‘Don’t Look Back. The Past Is Exactly Where It Belongs‘ (The Scarlet Witch). That might be the key. Look forward in your story and treat every new character with kindness. If we all do that maybe none of the rest really matters. But while we figure out how to do that, there is always a Disney Villains parade where you can see the line up of all the bad guys we love to hate.
100 Days of Wonder – #29
So, Halloween. So much of Halloween is commercialised nonsense aimed at getting us to buy stuff we don’t need and actually that’s probably how it entered my consciousness really. But I like the dark and the spooky and the other worldly, always have, and Halloween gives me a nice excuse to tap into that and explore what that side of me is and means. I like to think of its origins in Samhain in Celtic pagan culture which marks the end of the harvest season and the start of the darker months. The idea of Samhain or Halloween as a liminal festival where the boundaries between worlds blur speaks to my inner little witch. I suppose we see that closeness to the otherworld reflected in the idea of Halloween as the start of Allhallowtide in the western Christian calendar- a time to remember the dead. I am less keen on the modern interpretation of Halloween as a celebration of horror – because while I am content with a dose of spooky otherworldly magic, I am not and have never been (however hard I tried to pretend as a teenager) a horror fan. Maybe that’s why a Disney Halloween sort of appeals, it allows me to tap into the playfulness and possibilities of other worlds and magic and feed my imagination that keeps asking interesting iterations of ‘what if…?’.
100 Days of Wonder – #28
It has been a gorgeous autumnal day today which I spent at our University Open Day talking to lots of prospective students. I like Open Days, they are full of excitement and hope and the promise of things to come. We are also one step closer to Halloween so I am a pretty happy bunny. I’ll talk more about Halloween in the next few days but the picture I picked is deliberately more autumnal than spooky. It was taken in September 2017 which is the only time I have been to Walt Disney World at a time of year that wasn’t January. I like autumn for all sorts of reasons but have realised that I actually just like having proper seasons where you have more than just a vague temperature difference between them. Here in the UK, I love the changes in colour. It’s not just the leaves on trees, it’s everything. They blue skies are somehow a slightly different blue, the grey that so often settles in at this time of year is a reminder that not everything has to be sunshine and roses all the time and the deeper darker colours of autumn just somehow make my soul smile. They are perhaps more muted, less extrovert and in your face than some of the bold spring and summer colours and that suits me. I love the mist rising from the river, the fog that descends, the way you can be stuck in a cloud all day but half a mile down the road it might be bright sunshine. I like the moody and the dark but I like it even more because it is interrupted with spells of warmth and brightness. I also like the idea of autumn as the first phase of renewal. Autumn signifies getting rid of the old to make time for rest before the new. I like that pattern because it so explicitly recognises the rest that comes with winter. It’s not entirely compatible with an academic year cycle through. So as my soul is moving to shedding its metaphorical leaves and leaving behind the things that no longer bring me joy, the academic year really just begins. As we move towards winter, we gear up to be busier than ever whether that is socially or academically with assessments, marking and seeing everyone before Christmas (why?) … and as we head into renewal, at least in our academic calendar now, we are actually getting into the finishing straight of teaching. So I think sometimes my soul is a bit confused. I get more reflective as autumn moves on and I try and be explicit about finishing things and not immediately starting something new. I try and move with the cycle that recognises the move from one thing to the next but with rest in-between them. That’s not always easy, but I suspect it is essential to doing things well and staying well.
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