The Law Teacher: The International Journal of Legal Education
Last month, Professor Chris Ashford and I stepped down as General Editors of The Law Teacher and handed over the journal to Dr Emma Jones. Honestly, it’s a funny feeling. The Law Teacher has given me so much over the course of my career, working with Chris has been such a joy and such a rich learning experience and in one way or the other I have always somehow worked on something related to the Law Teacher. I wasn’t going to write anything beyond a quick tweet to mark the occasion but since then, my time linked to the Law Teacher keeps popping into my head.
I published my first book review in the Law Teacher in Issue 1 of 2008, just a few months after starting my first lectureship. I published my first article in the Law Teacher in 2009 (Issue 2) – A Case for Timeturners. I look back on that paper now it and it is somehow completely naive and yet hopeful at the same time. I should maybe write an update. The Editorial of Issue 1 of 2010 welcomes me (and others) to the board and I had forgotten that Chris and I joined at the same time. Over the next few years I had a go at editing book reviews as well as the Policy and Educational Developments sections. Then in 2014, Chris took over as General Editor of the journal and I joined as his Deputy. I remember thinking that I really wasn’t quite sure how I had found myself in that position and hoped that nobody would notice that I didn’t really have a clue what I was doing. in 2018 I got the chance to edit my first special issue (a reflection on the Legal Education and Training Review and a great change to critique the thinking on the SQE as it was then).
We found our feet fairly quickly, we did battle with Editorial Manager, our new online submission system (and if it is possible for a system to actively dislike a person, EM hated me) and we sort of dealt with stuff that came up. We bounced ideas off each other, stepped in to support each other, sense checked each other and reminded each other that we’d also need other voices because we are too similar in our approach to most things. We expanded the editorial board, we established a peer review college, we drove up the quality of work submitted and published and we actively tried to support the legal education community through workshops and being available for conversations. We introduced social media editors to raise the profile of the journal…We did a lot. It’s hard to know now where the ideas came from, I would probably say Chris but actually maybe it was the combination that worked and we had a fantastic team who made the magic happen (and still do).
I think we’ve always care about our authors as much as our readers (because often they are the same!). We read submissions with care and encouraged our reviewers to do the same and respond with constructive kindness. Reading work submitted to a journal is a huge privilege, the author is trusting you with it, probably feels anxious about how it will be received, wants you to like it and in return you get to shape it a little, help make it better, sometimes encourage the re-think it needs to be amazing. We did all of this, mostly without major glitches and mostly just getting on with it – although we definitely had our moments… and then Covid hit.
Lots happened in that time that showcased the nasty side of academia but also the kindness of colleagues, friends and strangers and to cut a long, horrible and for most other people rather boring story short, I wasn’t well. I tried to keep functioning but I wasn’t. As is so often the case in situations like that, I tried to first resign from all the nice things, the things that actually made it possible for me to survive in academia. Chris and the Law Teacher Team encouraged me to stay on, just step back and take the time I needed. When I returned I returned as Co-General Editor alongside Chris with a strengthened and fabulous Editor Team. And now, 10 years after working on the first issue as General and Deputy Editor, we have delivered our final issue as Co-Editors. 10 years just flew by and now there is a Law Teacher shaped hole appearing in my working life – appearing slowly because I haven’t vanished from the journal. For a start both Chris and I stay on as Consultant Editors but I am also seeing through the articles that happened to still be assigned to me and I am also co-editing a Special Issue (more on that another time – it’s shaping up to be fabulous though). The journal is in safe hands with a brilliant team of editors now led by Emma so I am excited to see what the future holds for the Law Teacher and what it feels like to view it as just another academic interested in legal education.
Mental Health Awareness Week 2024
I have seen lots of posts marking mental health awareness week and because sharing stories can be powerful, here’s some of mine.
I remember the moment I knew I needed help really clearly which is odd because everything else around the time is vague. I was sitting on our sofa at home and I was working because that’s mostly what I did then. My girlfriend Kath was talking to me and I couldn’t understand her. It was like she was speaking in a language I didn’t know.
I went to see my doctor. She was amazing. I thought I was ‘just a bit tired’ and asked if it would be unreasonable to ask for a week off. She asked me a series of questions and then talked to me about how she thought I had stress induced depression and anxiety. I was confused. I have always been fairly quiet and introvert but depressed? I’ve always been a bit shy but anxious? But as the doctor talked through my symptoms it made sense. She wanted to sign me off for 6 months. I couldn’t comprehend that so we agreed 3 months and and I was sure I’d be back much sooner.
I wasn’t. I went on a stress awareness course. It wasn’t for me. I ran lots of miles, that helped. I moved jobs, that helped for a while. And slowly slowly I began to recognise that the old me didn’t exist anymore, she’s not there for me to ‘get back to’. I began to understand that in many ways I was never going to be well again or at least the sort of well that doesn’t need to think about mental health. I had allowed myself to burn out completely and things are never going to be the same again.
Today I’m mostly fine. I can be ridiculously anxious about the most insignificant things: where can I park the car, have I really booked that train ticket, sending a simple email, going to a new venue while at the same time I’ll happily do things that might be more anxiety inducing for many like stand in a classroom full of students… I haven’t had a day where getting out of bed seems impossible for a long long time but being able to work at home for quite a lot of my time hugely helps. The pace is different, my brain gets more down time.
Because for me that’s how depression and anxiety manifest, my brain gets tired. It stops processing as clearly, coherently or sharply as it can. And as an academic that is scary. So where am I now.
The first episode (not really the right word) wasn’t related to or triggered by a person or incident- it was probably fairly classic burnout. Thereafter the worst times have been the result of bullying, micro aggressions, toxic environment and me trying too hard to cope within those environments. Yet I do still fundamentally trust people. Less so institutions. In my experience universities don’t take mental health seriously. If they did our HE landscape would look very different. That’s taking nothing away from individuals within institutions who do great work in this area.
I have always been loyal to friends and colleagues I think. I am now fiercely protective over their wellbeing, sometimes too much so. I am also fiercely protective over me and much more aware of triggers and warning signs. But I’m not patient with myself. Things take longer, work progresses more slowly and I do less than I did. And while some of it naturally comes with shifting priorities as I have got older, I am not always ok with that. I’m better but not good at not over working and I am far less tolerant of contexts that glorify busy-ness. Sometimes I get scared when my brain needs to go slow.
The thing I have struggled with most is being that flaky colleague. I have, when I’ve been at my worst, let colleagues, co-authors, editors and authors writing for me down. I’ve disappeared on people and not delivered on promises. I hate that. It also has a knock on effect that goes on for a long time. Letting people down is awful and I am not particularly good at apologising and moving on.
But I am moving on, every day. Step by step. It’s taken most of a decade and several job changes, lots of sleep, lots of running miles and lots of breathing to get to where I am now.
I suppose what I am really saying is that I’m ok. I now know my brain pretty well. I have my coping strategies and the privilege of being able to pay for therapy. I have support and I have way more good days than other days. I have my sense of humour back and the confidence to know that it’s ok to not be ok and the confidence to walk away from anything toxic without any hesitation. I’m not special so if I can do this, anyone can.
A DBA Week at Kielder Water
This last week I took a week off from work to spend time focusing on my DBA. We booked a lodge at Kielder Water from Monday to Friday to help get away from the distractions of every day life. This post is just a bit of a fun snapshot of how my week went. In a second post I have written more seriously about what I learned from the week and how far I got with my work.
Day 1
Day one of my DBA week was mostly travelling up to Kielder Water and settling in:
- Miles driven: 142
- Haribos eaten while travelling: 12
- Stops on the way: 1 (or 2 if you count bike pick up)
- Yoga:15 minutes
- Swim: 30 minutes
- Sauna/Steam Room: probably not long enough
- Chaffinches on the patio: 4
- Work emails seen: 0
- Work related emails that come to personal address seen: 4
- DBA word count: 976
- DBA Progress: Context chapter mapped and intro and some random stuff written
- DBA time spent: 2 hours
- LinkedIn Posts: 1 (and some comments)
Day 2
Day 2 is really the first full day of DBA focused work as most of Day 1 was just getting here. There was an element of settling into a rhythm but working in roughly 45 minute bursts seemed to work and having yoga or exercise breaks definitely helped. Day two stacked up like this
- Yoga breaks: 4
- Hot tub breaks: 1
- Run: 1 (45 minutes)
- Broken cafetières discovered: 1
- Cups of coffee drunk: Not enough (see above)
- Ginger nuts dunked in tea: 6
- Duolingo Spanish streak broken: 1 (but had a streak freeze left so it’s ok)
- Chaffinches: loads, about 30 all at once
- Great tits: 1
- Nuthatch: 1
- Blue tits: 2
- Wagtails: 2
- Osprey: 1
- Pigeon: 1
- Other birds: lots
- Other people: Almost none
- Red Squirrels: 0
- 45 minute writing bursts: 5
- 20 minute writing bursts: 1
- Random kinda editing on the sofa but faffing too: 90 minutes
- End Day Word Count: 4865
- Words actually written: More than that but they’re rubbish
- Tabs Open: Go Away
- Sworn at SQE: Lots and lots
- Glasses misplaced: hmph
Day 3
Today brought a change of pace. I slept later and then again started with some yoga. I had a first writing session full of faffing and not being able to locate some statistics I know I saw only a few days ago.The second session after a 10 minute yoga break was better and I used the stats I had to hand as placeholders for now knowing that there will be at leat two more reports before I submit the thesis anyway. I went for a run in the morning rather than in the afternoon today and that resulted in a 3rd really productive session before lunch. After lunch I struggled to get the focus back so after persevering for a bit I switched from writing to reading some of the materials I brought with me. So here’s how Day 3 looks in random numbers
- End Day Word Count: 6638
- Draft chapter: 85% complete
- References to sort: Ahem
- Run: 2 miles
- Tabs open: fewer than yesterday (not on purpose)
- Yoga breaks: 3
- Writing sessions: 4
- Book chapters read: 6.5
- Sticky tabs deployed: 29
- Ginger nuts dunked: 5
- Haribo eaten: 2 (packet’s empty)
- Times glasses were not where I was: Every time
- Red Squirrels: 0
- Rabbits by lodge: 3
- Annoying emails dealt with: 1
- Birds not noticed yesterday: 2 (Coal tit and robin)
- Hot tub staring at the sky: 20 minutes
- Confidence crisis: 1/2
- HIIT session: 20 minutes
Day 4
Day 4 has been less focused. I woke up very early, started with a slightly longer (still only 20 minute) yoga session and spent most of the time on the sofa rather than actually sitting at the table. I did less writing but more reading and thinking and mapping out structures for the literature review chapter.
- End Day Word Count Context Chapter: 7010
- Context chapter complete: 90%
- End Day Word Count Literature Review: 2483
- Book chapters read: 7
- Sticky tabs deployed: 32
- Highlighters dangerously close to empty: 1
- Red Squirrels: 0
- Ginger Nuts dunked 2
- Flapjack remembered, found and eaten: 2 pieces
- Yoga breaks: 2
- Hot tub breaks: 2
- Swim: 45 minutes
- Times sworn at Word formatting tools: too many to count
- Coffee forgotten about: 1
- Chaffinches within touching distance: 4
- Mice on patio: 1, possibly 2
- Invites to track Kath’s activity on Garmin: 2
- Feeling of not really having done anything: high
- Talking to given to myself: 1
- DBA progress: 1 near complete draft chapter and one chapter mapped out with headings and some quotes and text in place
Day 5
Day five was just packing up and travel really as well as thinking and reflecting time and a stop off at the Wensleydale Creamery in Hawes. So really the question is: How much Cheese is too much Cheese? And I am still not sure I understand that question.
My Conversations 