100 Days of Wonder – #33
I hope today brings you a little mischievous fun, a smile or two, maybe too much sugar and definitely time for reflection. I have no idea whether the veil between worlds is thinner today than other days, whether communing with the dead is easier today (or even a thing at all) or whether the pagans maybe just knew how to throw a bloody good party to mark the end of harvest. It doesn’t really matter! As I embrace the modern Halloween spirit today by putting our pumpkins on the front steps, handing out sweets to kids (of any ages) who might want to pop by and enjoy the house all decorated, I am also reflective and thinking about all the people no longer in my life – whether they are not in this world anymore or whether they are just not in my world anymore. I am thinking about the idea of Samhain and autumn turning into winter, about shedding the things that are no longer needed and preparing for rest over winter. I am thinking about how that applies to work – what brings me joy, what projects make me smile and which ones maybe just need to done or benched? Who do I like working with and which relationships maybe don’t work so well (at all, ever or anymore) and what does that mean. What work practices and habits are serving me well and which are not. And beyond work, what do I want my darker months to look like? Have I got a balance between active, healthy, moving, running, strength training and the cuddles under blankets in front of log fires right? What needs to be less and what needs to be more to feed the soul? Is there enough play to go with the inevitability of being an adult? So for me part of today is embracing the playfulness of modern Disney Halloween, suspend reality for a bit and transport myself back to the Disney Halloween party we went to at Disney World. Tomorrow as we roll over into November, a calmer and less sugar fuelled sense sets in and I’ll be ready to take down the decorations and in that act of tidying, cleaning and putting away, prepare for a restful and restorative winter.
100 Days of Wonder – #32
Every story needs a villain. Does it though? Couldn’t we write our stories without someone having to be the villain? Is it just easier to write yourself as the good guy if there is a bad guy to contrast with? I’ve been thinking about this because recently I have had lots of conversations about the the state of Higher Education in England and the impact it is having on academics. Inevitably conversations turn to toxic workplaces and the villains of our stories. And of course I like to think I am one of the good guys, I like to think that I have used the privilege and power I have as a force for good, to champion and lift others, to help change the world and make it just a little bit brighter. I also like to think that I, like the Disney heroes have fought my battles and come through. But I also know that I am the villain in the stories others might tell. A shift of perspective and suddenly I am all the things that have been said about me. I have been thinking about this since I first mentioned this in a post 10 days ago or so. The Hero/Villain dichotomy just doesn’t work. Our lives and who we are are far too complex for that but we like to simplify things and the thing is, if we can point to a villain in our story then we must be the hero. If there is a bad guy then we must be a good guy and if there is evil then we are the good that triumphs. But I’m not any of those things. I’m not a hero or a good guy and I am not some abstract good that defeats some abstract evil. I am, like all of us, deeply flawed and complex. I do think we struggle to write our stories without a villain because defining who we are is so much easier with reference to something else. The Scarlet Witch in Marvel says ‘I don’t need you to tell me who I am’ but actually we do need to other characters in our stories to be able to define who we are or are not. Binaries, dichotomies, black and white… it’s all easy and it’s a way of telling ourselves that we’re ok. I do still struggle to see how some of the people in my story are anything other than villains. I find it hard to see how to rewrite those stories in a way that doesn’t position me on one side and them on the other and then conceptualises one side as good and the other as evil. But that’s never going to be helpful because while it may be true that there were sides, the rest is less clear and depends on whether you ask them or me. And maybe my overly reflective nature doesn’t help here. I tend to look back and overthink and dwell on the past and that lends itself to rewriting our stories. But, as one of Disney/Marvel’s heroes and villains said ‘Don’t Look Back. The Past Is Exactly Where It Belongs‘ (The Scarlet Witch). That might be the key. Look forward in your story and treat every new character with kindness. If we all do that maybe none of the rest really matters. But while we figure out how to do that, there is always a Disney Villains parade where you can see the line up of all the bad guys we love to hate.
100 Days of Wonder – #31
Ooh getting closer to Halloween itself! Here’s a picture that isn’t from Disney at all and there isn’t even anything Disney related in it. It’s the Window Decorations from my Birmingham flat from October 2022. Our windows at home now look similar! So how does this picture fit in to the 100 Days of Wonder series. Well, in two ways. Disney absolutely inspired the decorations in the flat and what you can’t see in the picture is the Mickey Mouse pumpkin ornament, a little Zero ornament that lights up and a Disney Halloween Wreath on the door. Secondly, the whole flat was very Disney. Basically all my kitchen utensils and plates etc were Disney, my bedding was Disney, my towels, tea towels, soap dispenser… most things really. The flat was a way of capturing the magic and creating a little oasis in an otherwise work dominated space. The point of the flat was so that I could work in Birmingham but it needed to be and mostly was a space where I could also escape work, set my inner child free and feel safe and in my bubble. It worked, it was perfect. And I have been thinking about that a lot as we are getting ready to sell it. It’s been making me think about our attachment to places and the strong emotions they evoke. My head knows that selling the flat is the only sensible play here but it still pulls at my heart strings. It’s hard to articulate why. It’s just a flat after all but in that flat amidst a whole load of craziness I always felt like me and like my world made sense even if nothing else did. That’s worth a lot and that’s what this tiny flat that looked as though the Disney store had exploded in it did for me. I hope it can do it for someone else now, too.
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