Do what you can, when you can
Well, Christmas is safely packed away in the loft. According to my fitness watch I both finished 2025 and started 2026 strong. Actually, I did no such thing. I finished work on the 19th December, I had a pretty quiet time but it has really taken me until now to feel even remotely rested. I finished 2025 slowly recovering from exhaustion and being at capacity for too long. The first day of 2026 has been the same. With Christmas decorations taken down, the house returned to its normal, though not yet fully cleaned, state, my thoughts turned to going back to work. I go back tomorrow, I suspect many academic friends and colleagues will go back on Monday.
Anyway, I think almost every year I have done some work over the Christmas period. I thought I would this time. I have some writing projects to progress, stuff to do that is nice, fun. though still work. But I didn’t. I didn’t log on at all. I didn’t read anything work related, I didn’t write anything work related and I haven’t really thought about it much at all. Until today. Because now suddenly it feels like I need a plan for tomorrow and that means knowing what needs doing urgently… and so I nearly logged on. And then I gave myself a good telling off that may have included some swear words and ‘idiot’.
Starting back after the break on a Friday is actually perfect. Tomorrow I make the plan, I get things in order and ready for Monday. Preparation for work is work. It can be done in work time. And of course I forgot the key thing, the thing that I try as much as I can to stress to colleagues, PhD students and anyone who will listen really: Nothing in our job is ever actually urgent. Nobody is standing by us bleeding from a major artery, nothing is literally on fire, nobody is in immediate danger. I deal in words on pages, arbitrary deadlines, reports nobody reads… I am not saying that what I do as an academic isn’t important – some of it is – but we put the urgency into the work we do. The work is not inherently urgent. In fact I think that maybe the work would be better if we took any urgency out of it. If we properly slowed down. We need to keep reminding ourselves and each other of that.
Anyway, I have already rambled more than I intended to! I really just wanted to post to wish you a calm, peaceful, creative and kind 2026. I know that in an academic world that is in such a mess, that wish might seem out of reach, ridiculous even, but we have to try. There is hope, there are amazing people working in universities doing amazing things in spite of the conditions we have to survive in. There are people who are actively trying to improve those conditions – on large scales or through tiny acts of solidarity and resistance. Higher Education has lost its way, that doesn’t mean all those within it have. Resistance is exhausting, it takes its toll, demands a price.. whatever cliche you want to throw at it. So this is a sort of rallying cry but it is one that I have been thinking since I used the phrase in a post for my running blog earlier today: Do what you can, when you can. If we all do what we can, when we can to reclaim at least some of what Higher Education can be, maybe we can make some progress and maybe more of us can return to really enjoying our work more of the time.
Happy New year from me and my furry mental health team: Storm, Kilian, Odin and Einstein. Take care of each other.
100 Days of Wonder – #60
Today I want to pause to celebrate my students past and present. They’re all absolute stars. Yep that’s the link to the picture. Sorry. But actually there’s more of a link. I didn’t really ‘get’ the importance and value of celebrating success and being told you’re doing or have done a good job. I found the mostly American culture of ‘good job for existing’ level of praise and affirmation quite jarring and irritating the first time I really witnessed it properly during the first Disney trip in 2006. Yep well done, you are an adult and you managed breathe all day today. I thought it was all a bit pathetic really.
But of course that first Disney trip was before I had any genuine sense that just existing could be so fucking hard. I have u-turned on this. Give yourself and others all the praise, love and affirmation you can. Over the last 20 years I have seen over and over again the power that believing in someone can have, the power that saying ‘good job’ or ‘Well done’ can have and I remember so vividly the impact it had on me when life got hard. So you, yep you who struggled to get out of bed today – you’re awesome. And you who spent all day hiding and crying because life is shit right now, well done for getting through today. You who fought your bastard demons today – I see you and I’m proud of you. And for those of you who are happy today, those who had a great day and for whom things are really good. I am genuinely happy and excited for you. (I mean that genuinely but however I write this it always seems to sound sarcastic – not meant to)
So celebrating students. I have finished teaching for this semester and assessment season is upon us and somehow we are collectively making a mess of this in higher education . The anxiety we create is unreal! Assessment should not be this stressful! Sure, nerves are normal but wow society and the education system pile on the pressure. What are we doing? Assessment should be the celebration of learning. It should be a chance to show off the journey and demonstrate mastery of new knowledge and skills. Over the last couple of weeks I have read genuinely insightful work, watched brilliant presentations and had really deep and sometimes heartbreaking conversations. All my students are juggling life in ways that many of us in our privileged academic bubbles can barely imagine and yet they jump through our anxiety inducing hoops and come out fighting for a better world. I am so unbelievably proud of all of them. The kids are alright, you know and I’m never going to stop telling them that.
100 Days of Wonder – #52
Here’s the Bear of Little Brain. This was taken at Epcot in January 2023 as he was doing his morning exercises. We stood and watched him for ages and got the giggles watching him trying to reach his toes. My anxiety has been sky high today and I have felt very ‘little brained’. I probably could have done with channeling Winnie a little more. Or just the feeling of standing and watching him. In fact I don’t think any of us really take enough time to just stand and stare or watch or just be. It’s all about productivity and that just ends up being counter productive because my work world should be about creativity and thinking and empowerment and inspiring others and none of that works well if my tank is empty. Winnie started his day with some exercise and some waving at crowds and some being silly and just the memory of that starts resetting my system and bringing my heart rate and anxiety levels down. I finished my day today with a Boxercise class at the gym. It felt good – sometimes you just need to punch the crap out of something to release the excess adrenaline – and there were some giggles too over my lack of co-ordination. The fact that I nearly passed out at the end and had to sit on a chair off to one said that felt rather like the naughty chair, is also a reminder to look after myself better during the day. Maybe pause, have lunch, drink water, drink less coffee… I can’t imagine Winnie not having a little smackerel of something at regular intervals!
My Conversations 