100 Days of Wonder – #95
Hope. Disney gives me hope that a better world is possible. That might sound completely bonkers. And maybe it is. But Disney tells good stories – whether through its films, series or in the parks. Of course historically some of them have been hugely problematic and some continue to be a long way from perfect. But more recently Disney is trying to do better, tell better more inclusive stories. Doing better and trying harder is always cause for hope. And the more hopeful the stories the more inspiring and impactful. Maybe telling good stories helps us change the world for the better.
Disney understands suspending reality and the need for escapism and magic. And the more we can give ourselves over to that every now and again, the better. It helps us remember what hope feels like, what could be.
As I said yesterday, I am struggling a little with depression. It’s not really bad and it is easing. Today was better than yesterday. I am trying to look forward to time spent believing in the magic and maybe joining Peter Pan for a flight towards the “second star to the right, and straight on till morning.” And somehow that helps because depression tells one set of stories and Disney helps me tell a different set of stories that are at least as likely as the narrative that depression would have me believe. So Happy New Year. May 2025 be full of beautiful, brave, mundane, every day stories that help you believe in your own magic.
100 Days of Wonder – #94
Depression is a funny thing. I haven’t really felt it for a while. If anything I have struggled more with anxiety than with depression but I always know that it can come back. It barged in yesterday with its stories and exhaustion and it is lingering like an unwelcome house guest, giving no indication when it might leave. In some ways it’s ok. I know what this is. I am better at dealing with it than I used to be. It doesn’t mean I am unhappy. It means I have a brain full of stories about how I am not very good at anything, too fat to run, failing on all fronts and generally not worth bothering with. It also means I am a sort of tired that sits in your bones. I don’t want to do anything. I can’t actually rest either though because resting is just proof of my laziness. Why now? I don’t know. No obvious trigger and I am hoping that the black puppy won’t stay long. That it will come, tell its stories, realise I am not really listening and move on.
In the meantime I am slowly beginning to take down Christmas and make new memories ready for next year as I place things back in the Christmas box. I am also taking myself to places in my mind where the depression rarely follows: Disney World. Several times today I have imagined the walk from the Contemporary Resort to the Magic Kingdom. Every time the mix of memory and anticipation, because in a week’s time I will actually walk it, has brought me joy. The black puppy just sits waiting for an opportunity to remind me not to be in any photos because I’ll just look horrible and fat. It’s waiting to inform me that I won’t make it round the Dopey Challenge because I am useless and that I am probably best just staying in Florida because the work that awaits when I get back will be too hard anyway… So let’s just let it sit there, spinning it’s stories. We can tell a different one with every step we walk along this path:
100 Days of Wonder – #93
Remember I told you that the first time I went to Disney World I really just went for the winter sun and warm? It’s also an excuse I have used when people who do not ‘get’ Disney question my destination choices. Well on a couple of occasions now, the warm has really not held true – but it has really only ever been cold for a day or two. I have been stalking the Orlando weather forecast for weeks. I know it has been way too far out to learn anything useful. And as always I have done round one of packing convinced that it is going to be warm at least almost all of the time. I think I am going to have to re-pack! I know, I know, we’re still over a week out from arrival but various forecasts show a huge dip in temperature for marathon weekend. It looks like it will barely get into double figures (Degrees C obviously). I think I will need to take out a pair of shorts and put in some grown-up pants and replace a flimsy thin shirt or two with a hoodie. I think I also need to re-think what I will wear for the races.
Anyway, I am trying not to be disappointed. I want warm and sun and sitting around people watching – more being than doing – I wanted a couple of hours by the pool… I didn’t want jackets and wrapping up and feeling cold. But I have zero control over what the weather does so it’ll all be fine. It will be better than fine. For some reason I am pretty good at just accepting things as they are at Disney. Better than I am usually. I am better at just rolling with it. Long queue – let’s come back another time or not bother. Ride out of action – no issue. Missed a character meet, no biggie. Raining, great- fewer people. Cold, excuse to buy a new hoodie. Queue moving more slowly than we thought, fine. Huge crowd for parade, that’s ok, we’ll hang out at the back. People talking absolute nonsense around me, that will make us giggle later. Packed transport and lack of personal space, it just is. I wonder what it is? I don’t have the same level of ‘let it go ness’ at any other time. I often talk about controlling the controllable and I try but Disney parks seem the only place where I can actually manage it consistently. And even then the danger is being hungry and not realising and getting very hangry remains real – that’s the only time we have ever really argued or been grumpy at each other and it has always been easily resolved by having a snack!
So I can’t control the weather but I can control what I wear and therefore how I feel in the colder weather and we can swap ice cream for hot coffee, pretzels and popcorn so we’re fine and anyway, the forecast might still be wrong!
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