100 Days of Wonder – #52
Here’s the Bear of Little Brain. This was taken at Epcot in January 2023 as he was doing his morning exercises. We stood and watched him for ages and got the giggles watching him trying to reach his toes. My anxiety has been sky high today and I have felt very ‘little brained’. I probably could have done with channeling Winnie a little more. Or just the feeling of standing and watching him. In fact I don’t think any of us really take enough time to just stand and stare or watch or just be. It’s all about productivity and that just ends up being counter productive because my work world should be about creativity and thinking and empowerment and inspiring others and none of that works well if my tank is empty. Winnie started his day with some exercise and some waving at crowds and some being silly and just the memory of that starts resetting my system and bringing my heart rate and anxiety levels down. I finished my day today with a Boxercise class at the gym. It felt good – sometimes you just need to punch the crap out of something to release the excess adrenaline – and there were some giggles too over my lack of co-ordination. The fact that I nearly passed out at the end and had to sit on a chair off to one said that felt rather like the naughty chair, is also a reminder to look after myself better during the day. Maybe pause, have lunch, drink water, drink less coffee… I can’t imagine Winnie not having a little smackerel of something at regular intervals!
100 Days of Wonder – #39
The world feels heavy today. The world was already in unfathomable and senseless pain and today it feels like the world took a step in the wrong direction entirely. More locally the sector I work in is in real trouble and the only light at the end of the tunnel is a great big freight train full of poorly conceived metrics hurtling towards us. I can’t control any of it and I could construct a whole awful narrative but the story is not yet written and there is no point in second-guessing what might or might not happen. That being said, I couldn’t bring myself to share a photo from the US today. So here you have the Castle at Disneyland Paris on a grey September day in 2016. I am struggling to see the wonder and joy today. The world just feels heavy.
100 Days of Wonder – #15
Yesterday I talked about fun. When I was at university in Leicester I would frequently visit my then girlfriend who was doing a degree in PE teaching in Chichester. The way my timetable fell I could often stay for a chunk during the week. I’d take work with me and while she was out in lectures and then playing cricket or rugby, I would wade through contract law cases and work out why, as a 19 year old, I should care about Administrative Law. I distinctly remember declining to join a game of rounders and not even joining the spectators sitting in the sun sipping something pink and alcoholic. Instead I opted for a book. My girlfriend’s comment was: Well you’re no fun. It was a theme that came up repeatedly and at the time I remember being defensive about it. I was fun. Of course I was fun. But was I?
I don’t know. I think it took me a long time to work out ‘fun’. I was bookish and serious and independent and ‘grown up’ as a kid. I continue to be fiercely independent but those moments of silliness and laughing so much that you (nearly -hm) pee yourself that I had always treated as rare and very private moments are now moments I embrace and I’m proud of. I no longer take myself or anything particularly seriously. Fun for me has never been about parties, big groups, playing sports or pranking each other which is I think what Rachel was referring to when she put me in the ‘not fun’ box. Fun for me has been about stories, about shared moments that touch the soul, about seeing others light up and mostly about seeing the ridiculousness of most things in life. Sometimes teaching and researching in law doesn’t lend itself to being fun. I bump up against inequality at best and atrocities at worst all the time in my work, some student stories a re heartbreaking and law is, after all a serious business… but finding your brand of silliness and fun seems to me to be crucial to making sure we look after ourselves when we’re doing work that can be emotional and hard. So if you think I’m mad as a hatter and a bit juvenile – you’d be right, I just don’t think that’s a bad thing.
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